Surreal Housewife of Amador County

SmooooothWhilst scanning the fridge for ingredients to put in my smoothie a few mornings ago, after not discovering yogurt, my gaze fell upon a bottle of white wine….and lingered there for just a few seconds more than I was comfortable with. Did I ju...

Thumbing through my thpring folder, I found this gem that I scratched out one day last spring, after the last little pickle-puss was safely out of my world, for the next seven hours anyway. It’s an actual moment-by-moment transcript of the last day o...

Mom! It’s a simple, one-syllable word, yet approximately 50% of the time I hear it, I nearly bite my own tongue in half — intentionally. Why? Because there’s one of me, and four of them. Now, I’m no Jimmie the Greek, but that’s some shit odds...

Back by popular demand, much to the dismay of some local Serbian Church officials, are the cherry-picked cultural traditions that many of the quarter- and half-breeds (I’ll call them Slivers of Serb, or SoS’s) have taken upon themselves to continue...

There are moments, between corks, when I think about the limits of my patience. I think about strategies for maintaining my composure when things go completely haywire. Like when I’m sitting in the car, waiting for someone to find his or her shoes, a...

I’m so bored with reading about people who are thankful for the stuff that’s easy. It’s easy to sit around and dreamily think up universal, corny sounding things to be thankful for (“I’m thankful for nature’s bounty,” or “I’m thankful...

In life, there are a few situations where grey areas just don’t cut it. For me, two things jump to mind immediately: Listening and bartending. We’ll start with listening, an ever-evolving challenge for most people, including this gal. I think it’...

Who are these people who believe that life is short? Life is a long ass time. Name one other activity that you might do that could be categorized as short, if it lasted as long as an average lifespan does. Think about it. “Mom, I’m going out to rid...

Just when I think, “I’ve really got nothing to write about,” I trip over a conversation with my son, at bedtime, when I “tuck” him into bed. I don’t actually pull his covers up and smooth them out across his chest, ala June Cleaver, as she ...

Like most modern families, we were sitting around watching Tosh.O recently, waiting for a teaching moment to come along. It was a short wait. Our friend on the TV mentioned “spooning,” and Wonder Boy at the other end of the couch, with all of 14.75...