Humor

The Blue Muse
#100HappyDays: Quilted wisdom

Jun 14, 2014
#100HappyDays: Quilted wisdom

"Life is hard; it's even harder if you're stupid"--throw pillow wisdom. June 12, 2014I admit, when I saw the stitched pillow in my mentor's home office, I expected a saccharine sweet inspirational quote. I didn't expect to laugh out loud at a little qu...

The Blue Muse
#100HappyDays: It’s good to be king

Jun 14, 2014
#100HappyDays: It’s good to be king

"I am Goliath and I sit where I want." June 11, 2014For awhile, I thought our 13-year old dog was stone deaf. He wasn't heeding commands. He didn't give any response to loud screams of "GOLIATH, NO! GO! NO, NOT ON THE NEIGHBOR'S LAWN. $%^*!"So I enlist...

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Nanny Goats in Panties
Of Name Tags and Psychotic Birds

Of Name Tags and Psychotic Birds

So I’m at this thing the other day, you know, one of those events where you walk in the door and they check you in and give you a name tag to clip on your person, along with a wine glass, and you feel awkward at first because you arrived alone so the first...

Nanny Goats in Panties
Of Name Tags and Psychotic Birds

Of Name Tags and Psychotic Birds

So I’m at this thing the other day, you know, one of those events where you walk in the door and they check you in and give you a name tag to clip on your person, along with a wine glass, and you feel awkward at first because you arrived alone so the first...

renegade mothering
Welcome to our world, Arlo

Welcome to our world, Arlo

If there is one cosmic message I seem to receive more than any other, it’s this one: “You are not in charge of this rodeo, Janelle.” (So sit back, asshole, and enjoy the ride.) I wanted to have a May baby. I really, really wanted a May baby. My husband was off work for...

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Chronicles of Nothing
Random thoughts on my 40th birthday

Random thoughts on my 40th birthday

Holy crap, on Sunday I’m going to be 40.  How did that happen?  Seriously. I can barely believe it’s 2014. It still sounds like a year in the future of flying cars and robots.  Actually, I’m kind of happy that cars don’t fly.  Have you seen the way people drive?  Merging still baffles 90%...

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Surreal Housewife of Amador County
Talkative or Silent: Which Kid Do You Prefer?

Recently, on Geniusbook, a friend of mine groused about her teenager, who seems to be perpetually on mute. She can’t get a word out of him. The responses to her post were split pretty evenly when it came to what’s worse: verbal diarrhea or the silent treatment. Some moms complained of constant chatter and...

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The Blue Muse
#100HappyDays: Super soaker

#100HappyDays: Super soaker

Puttering around my front yard tomato pots, I heard Mr. T turn the corner and holler something like, "You're going to like this..."Little did I know how much.Having just cut a coffin-sized hole in the ceiling of our garage, T needed my assistance. I fi...

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MidLifeBloggers
What We Do For Bikini Season: Stuck

May 30, 2014

The funniest person I know is my friend, Jessica Bern, of BernThis. She’s not just chuckle ha-ha funny; she is the real deal: a standup comedian and actress who now has a production company Two Funny Brains, producing female-centric videos. Stuck, starring Christine Lakin, is part of the “Female Moments” series: “Every .0000013 seconds there is a...

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renegade mothering
39 weeks pregnant…and crazy happened

39 weeks pregnant…and crazy happened

The other day, I looked in the mirror as I was getting in the shower and I saw myself, 39 weeks pregnant, huge and round. I saw breasts nearly resting on an enormous belly. I saw the stripes racing down its curve. I saw the layer of fat beneath the belly, the hips. I saw...

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