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Nanny Goats in Panties
How to Get to 10,000 Steps on Your Fitbit

How to Get to 10,000 Steps on Your Fitbit

Hello! And welcome to Exercise is Futile, the program where we show you all the crazy ways to move your body around even though we all know its pointless because you’ll probably get run over by a giant duck wearing a bow tie on his way to the dentist tomorrow anyway, am I right?...

Chronicles of Nothing
Relationship non-advice: relationships are work

Relationship non-advice: relationships are work

Why are so many people shocked that relationships are work? Didn’t you pay attention to your parents? Do you remember the arguments with your siblings?  Seriously. Relationships OF ALL KINDS are work.  Your friends, your good friends, piss you off sometimes, but you work through it. Please, for the love of God, don’t compare...

renegade mothering
The No-Bullshit, No-Drama Friendship Manifesto

The No-Bullshit, No-Drama Friendship Manifesto

I think mothers need a no-bullshit friendship manifesto. That way, we can go into new relationships knowing we’re in agreement on a few critical factors, thereby avoiding the awkward situation in which you realize one person is into drama and the other isn’t. I’m never into the drama. I think I’m too old. Or...

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Surreal Housewife of Amador County
Menopause: A Beginner’s Guide

About the only times I’ve really spent any money on myself to get in shape throughout the years is for gym memberships and yoga. I think I’ve belonged to a gym three times in my adult life, for about a year each time. The first time was post-first baby, when I lived in Southern...

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renegade mothering
I’ve summarized (in 2 sentences or less) every Mother’s Day post ever written so you don’t have to read them. You’re welcome.

I’ve summarized (in 2 sentences or less) every Mother’s Day post ever written so you don’t have to read them. You’re welcome.

Do you ever get tired of reading the same damn thing every “holiday?” Yeah, neither do I. I enjoy it. In fact, I enjoy it so much I’ve taken time out of my “busy mommy life(!)” (I just gagged) to read every single blog post and article ever written near, on or about Mother’s...

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Chronicles of Nothing
Your dream guy? Hank Hill

Your dream guy? Hank Hill

I spent a very large portion of my life thus far as a single, unattached gal.  Dating pretty much sucks. Lately, I’ve been watching King of the Hill while trying to fall asleep and it dawned on me that Hank Hill is the ideal husband. Ok, stop laughing. I’m serious. Ideal husband qualities Think...

renegade mothering
Oh, Heyyyyyy, 36 weeks…and yes, they threw me a baby sprinkle.

Oh, Heyyyyyy, 36 weeks…and yes, they threw me a baby sprinkle.

I’m 36 weeks pregnant. Today. I have a few thoughts. But first, did I mention they threw me a “baby sprinkle?” Yes, yes. Proof. (MacDonald is my married name): You see, this is what you get when you talk mad shit about baby sprinkles on your blog then get pregnant. It was supposed to...

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Surreal Housewife of Amador County
The Surreal Housewife does breakfast: “You got more sauce on your cinnamon roll than me”

Sometimes, the lines that define the relationships around our house get a little blurry. Like a recent Sunday morning, when I served up a hot breakfast, including cinnamon rolls, to my husband and daughter. Breakfast for three. Easy, right?

The patrons sat down at the table, side by side, eyeing one another’s portion of...

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renegade mothering
Hey world. I’m pregnant, not broken.

Hey world. I’m pregnant, not broken.

Hey world. Check it out. I am not sick, disabled, handicapped or broken. I am pregnant. I am not frail, fragile, needy or excessively dependent. I am pregnant. I am not incapable, incapacitated or inept. I AM FUCKING PREGNANT.   I’m not a rare flower. I am not delicate.  I am not a princess. I...

Surreal Housewife of Amador County
I Love You, Long Timers

Recently, I was invited by my mom and aunt to be their guest at the Long Timers’ Luncheon. This group gets together once a month (some say it takes the place of that other thing that happens to women once a month that none of the members have to worry about, “thank Heavens!”). These...

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