Humor

renegade mothering
Tonight, the blankets stay on the floor

Tonight, the blankets stay on the floor

I slept in my mom’s bed until I was in junior high. Not every night. Just sometimes. I guess I needed the closeness. Some kids do. Even when I came home to visit from college, I crawled into her bed once or twice, and fell asleep, because she was there. But there was a...

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renegade mothering
I have an idea: Let’s stop telling women how to give birth

I have an idea: Let’s stop telling women how to give birth

I recently read an article cleverly titled “You should get an epidural” (I know, I know I should have stopped there) that told a story about some “natural birther” who was rude to the writer in a grocery store. Apparently she asked the writer – WHILST STANDING IN A CHECKOUT LINE – how she...

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renegade mothering
A letter to James Baldwin because I have some questions about the love thing

A letter to James Baldwin because I have some questions about the love thing

Dear James, You’re dead, but I’m going to talk to you, because I think you may have been wrong, and I don’t know who else to talk to. In 1962, you wrote a letter to your nephew because he was “born into a society which spelled out with brutal clarity” that he was a...

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renegade mothering
Small pink vaginal speaker for in utero musical education. Because the world hates women.

Small pink vaginal speaker for in utero musical education. Because the world hates women.

They make some seriously ridiculous “parenting” products, but I have recently come across the winner of every WTF IS HAPPENING award ever made. Behold, the speaker you stick up your vagina so your baby has direct and uninterrupted access to music from your iPhone. Go ahead. I’ll wait. Let that one register. And no, no...

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renegade mothering
I am a mother, not a shadow of my former self, and I will not apologize

I am a mother, not a shadow of my former self, and I will not apologize

We have got to talk. We have got to talk about the way motherhood is so often depicted as this sanctimonious martyrdom of hell in which formerly interesting and intellectual humans are reduced to snot and cereal. This is the situation, partly. There are phases, particularly when children are in their infancy, when life seems to...

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renegade mothering
Do you ever wonder what your kids will remember?

Do you ever wonder what your kids will remember?

I am often the mom who forgets whatever it is I was supposed to do. The activity. The paperwork. The change in regular scheduling. The thing the kid was supposed to bring to school: a stuffed animal, for example. This is not because I’m a “hot mess mom.” I don’t even know exactly what...

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renegade mothering
Sometimes, I am the asshole

Sometimes, I am the asshole

One of my goals in life is to not let my decision to have children ruin anybody’s life. I talk a lot about asshole, entitled parents producing tiny asshole children, and I work really, really hard not to do that. It’s kind of my claim to fame. It’s not. I’m not famous, or even...

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renegade mothering
Sometimes, I am the asshole

Sometimes, I am the asshole

One of my goals in life is to not let my decision to have children ruin anybody’s life. I talk a lot about asshole, entitled parents producing tiny asshole children, and I work really, really hard not to do that. It’s kind of my claim to fame. It’s not. I’m not famous, or even...

Tags:

renegade mothering
Let me tell you a story about 9 strangers on the internet

Let me tell you a story about 9 strangers on the internet

In December 2014, I ran my first online writing workshop. That was possibly the most boring first sentence I’ve ever written in my life. Stay with me here. It may get better. Anyway, my business manager and family had been encouraging me to launch a class for a long time, but I didn’t, because...

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renegade mothering
Let me tell you a story about 9 strangers on the internet

Let me tell you a story about 9 strangers on the internet

In December 2014, I ran my first online writing workshop. That was possibly the most boring first sentence I’ve ever written in my life. Stay with me here. It may get better. Anyway, my business manager and family had been encouraging me to launch a class for a long time, but I didn’t, because...

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