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renegade mothering
To the humans wondering why I’m always late

To the humans wondering why I’m always late

The other day a friend of mine and I were having a bit of friendly-text-banter about tardiness. She was like “Just start earlier” and I was like “talk to me when you have 4 kids” and she was like “I wouldn’t have 4 kids!” And I told her she is a fucking smart woman,...

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MidLifeBloggers
How I Earned My Wrinkles, by Anne K. Bardsley

Sep 17, 2014

“Come on in, sit down. Can I get you a cup of coffee?” I could almost hear Anne Bardsley saying that to me as I read her new book, How I Earned My Wrinkles: Musings on Marriage, Motherhood, and Menopause. In fact, I could swear midway through I could hear her offering to pour me a glass...

renegade mothering
I went to the mountains and remembered why we have kids.

I went to the mountains and remembered why we have kids.

Sometimes I get so full of self-pity I think maybe I could cut it with a knife, were it to materialize outside my body. Like a giant gray mass with indiscernible edges, and me, sitting in the center, looking at Instagram feeds of expat women living in foreign countries, or in big Craftsman homes...

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The Girl With Moxie
Open Letter(s) to Target Managers, or Why I Hate Your Cashiers’ Bagging Skills

Dear Target Manager, I appreciate that Target offers me a discount for using reusable bags. I especially appreciate that the policy changed from 5 cents off to 5 cents per bag. I like getting financial incentives to recycle, reuse, all that crap. … Continue reading

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Chronicles of Nothing
Back to school time…again…

Back to school time…again…

The best thing about being an adult? Not having to go to back to school. Homework was just the worst. I would have hated going to classes more, but I did enjoy some of the social aspects of school.  Don’t get me wrong. I was not popular. I was a nerd and still am...

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Surreal Housewife of Amador County
The Last Word

Despite regular threats to throw myself off the porch, which actually means grabbing a beer out of the garage fridge and heading to the front yard for a time out, I’m in no hurry to die, or overly curious about what happens “on the other side.” I’m just reminded of the topic now and...

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Chronicles of Nothing
Earthquakes: Still better than crappy weather

Earthquakes: Still better than crappy weather

I was born and raised in California. I’ve lived through my fair share of earthquakes both large and small…mostly small. Still, after living in the Midwest for almost a year and a half, I prefer to take my chances with an earthquake other than a blizzard or thunderstorm. Why? Because in the scheme of...

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renegade mothering
I thought age 4 would be better. I was wrong.

I thought age 4 would be better. I was wrong.

Georgia, age 4 (as of August 5), pretty much sees me in two ways: I need to be so close to you I’m literally sitting on your face; and I’m trying to figure out what exactly your purpose is here. We all know “terrible twos” was an invention by some prick who never had...

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Chronicles of Nothing
What’s up at the Weather Channel?

What’s up at the Weather Channel?

I confess. The Weather Channel used to be one of my favorite channels on TV. Used to be, in recent years, it’s gone insane. Last year, the Weather Channel and DirecTV had a fight, so for a while, I didn’t have The Weather Channel and honestly, I didn’t really miss it. Let me explain....

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Nanny Goats in Panties
White House Dinners and..oh, I Wrote a Book.

White House Dinners and..oh, I Wrote a Book.

Have you ever gone to a Presidential Gala and arrived late, only to discover that the First Couple is no longer greeting people at the end of the reception line and all the salmon biscuits are gone? OMG – me too!! But that’s not why I brought you here today. No, today I have...

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