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The Girl With Moxie
The Great White Dope

Note: I’ve chosen not to spell out the name of the Republican presidential candidate for several reasons, not the least of which is my illogical belief that to spell it out is akin to summoning Beetlejuice. I don’t enjoy discussing politics very much. I’d much rather talk about pop culture, which I think most of...

renegade mothering
A message from your friendly neighborhood Trump supporter

A message from your friendly neighborhood Trump supporter

It confuses me that Donald Trump is getting such a bad rap. I’m voting for him.* And I’m going to explain why. I’m voting for Trump because I’m hoping for a fascist state. At least I think I am. I just want everybody of the Muslim nationality to wear patches and get into camps....

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renegade mothering
The good news is I made it to back-to-school night

The good news is I made it to back-to-school night

The good news is, I made it to back-to-school night. I am happy to report that after 14 years, 10 months as a mother, I have figured out how to read school calendars and not miss important events like “paper parades” – HEY BTDUBS WHY CAN’T WE USE THE INTERNET FOR ALL THAT PAPERWORK...

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renegade mothering
What if I asked you to rethink the “low” kids?

What if I asked you to rethink the “low” kids?

Growing up, I understood that there were two groups of students: The smart ones and the dumb ones. The ones who couldn’t sit still, who fidgeted, who “got in trouble a lot,” who got “bad” grades, who the teachers didn’t like – they were the dumb ones. Maybe it was their fault. Maybe not. Who...

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renegade mothering
21 things standing between me and “reasonable bedtimes”

21 things standing between me and “reasonable bedtimes”

Last week a super handy chart took its 10,000 laps around the internet and I once again realized either: a.) The whole fucking parenting world is batshit; or b.) I am worse at this than formerly thought. You see, the chart in question outlines the times a kid should go to bed based on age...

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renegade mothering
You are not your fucking minivan

You are not your fucking minivan

We needed a new car. We drove a 2007 Expedition until it had 193,000 miles, a giant dent in the back, 159 smaller dents, ripped interior seats, broken visors, and an overwhelming scent of something. At this point, your guess is as good as mine. Our decision to buy the Expedition was mostly about...

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renegade mothering
Potty training is bullshit. And that frog toilet can go to hell.

Potty training is bullshit. And that frog toilet can go to hell.

I’ve been a mother for 14 years and have 4 children and the only thing I’ve learned is that “they” are pretty much always lying. Everything “they” promise will happen does not actually happen. Breastfed co-sleeping kids are not “clingy.” Sleep-trained kids do not burn puppies. Formula doesn’t crush souls; homeschooling doesn’t create teenagers...

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renegade mothering
How to stay positive in a dystopian wasteland

How to stay positive in a dystopian wasteland

Maybe I’m alone here, but I’ve been feeling an overwhelming sense of cosmic dread. It’s kind of a mix between apocalyptic doom and what I imagine it would feel like to be consumed by flames while tied to a cactus. Perhaps it’s the fact that a racist narcissistic turnip is running for President and...

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renegade mothering
Tonight, the blankets stay on the floor

Tonight, the blankets stay on the floor

I slept in my mom’s bed until I was in junior high. Not every night. Just sometimes. I guess I needed the closeness. Some kids do. Even when I came home to visit from college, I crawled into her bed once or twice, and fell asleep, because she was there. But there was a...

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renegade mothering
I have an idea: Let’s stop telling women how to give birth

I have an idea: Let’s stop telling women how to give birth

I recently read an article cleverly titled “You should get an epidural” (I know, I know I should have stopped there) that told a story about some “natural birther” who was rude to the writer in a grocery store. Apparently she asked the writer – WHILST STANDING IN A CHECKOUT LINE – how she...

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