See Byline

Our age may belie our actions, but in the end, we discover we are indeed getting older and doing and saying things we swore in our youth would never happen.

So now what, at this age? Who am I without the accouterments of my earlier life? My job, my youth, my expertise in a particular field? If I’m not running the race, do I even have value?

It was in the middle of Victoria's Secret, rummaging through the three-for-one thongs (question: why bother wearing them?), when I had the thought that struck a wave of fear in me so intense, I almost dropped the panties: I would have to share a bathr...

In the course of one lunch I went from feeling young-and-bouncy to old-and-feeble all due to conversation of women at the table and my own thoughts about age in relationship to the women I was with.

You don’t have to stuff yourself into any crazy corsets. Instead you get to live the experience through a younger version, sort of, of yourself, with better skin and body and teeth and hair and who knows what else.

What do you say to someone who thinks you are a lot older than you really are? Do you correct them? Do you sob uncontrollably? Do you make a joke and see if they 'get' it? Do you call them a stupid #@th#*f^c$#r?

No matter how I redirected, pleaded, threatened, attempted training strategies with Cheerios, looked deeply into his adorable black eyes to help him understand that we were not in danger, Enzo was fully connected to his instinct and would not be called...

I crave community. A sense of belonging. I need to fit. And I realized yesterday--amidst the throes of a weepy Saturday--I've spent much of my life trying to find my fit. Where I belong. Who I am in the middle of this world around me.

My family spans the entire Jewish spectrum from less-religiously-observant to more-so and I spend a lot of my time trying to balance my kids' needs with my own. Sound familiar? I mean, basically, I'm just like almost every other 54-year-old that you know.

No, I'm not looking forward to today, this day of preparation before my Happy 50th Birthday Colonoscopy. The test itself doesn't worry me. I'm grateful for this technology, for the chance to catch a potential problem. It's this not eating bit and the "...