Janelle Hanchett

I am a woman. Thirty-one years old with three children: Ava, 9, Rocket, 5, and Georgia, 6 months. I am married to Mac, my best friend and partner in crime for the last 10 years. We are an erratic offbeat family with big ideas and inevitably poor execution. We like to go to the beach on a whim, even though it's 2 hours away. We take our kids to bluegrass festivals and dance dance dance. We like rock and roll. Sometimes our boy wears pink. Sometimes I yell and scream and act like a really bad mom. Sometimes I'm freaking great. We're just a family.

Web Site: http://www.renegademothering.com


You are not your fucking minivan

Aug 16, 2016
You are not your fucking minivan

We needed a new car. We drove a 2007 Expedition until it had 193,000 miles, a giant dent in the back, 159 smaller dents, ripped interior seats, broken visors, and an overwhelming scent of something. At this point, your guess is as good as mine. Our decision to buy the Expedition was mostly about...

Potty training is bullshit. And that frog toilet can go to hell.

Aug 10, 2016
Potty training is bullshit. And that frog toilet can go to hell.

I’ve been a mother for 14 years and have 4 children and the only thing I’ve learned is that “they” are pretty much always lying. Everything “they” promise will happen does not actually happen. Breastfed co-sleeping kids are not “clingy.” Sleep-trained kids do not burn puppies. Formula doesn’t crush souls; homeschooling doesn’t create teenagers...

How to stay positive in a dystopian wasteland

Jul 28, 2016
How to stay positive in a dystopian wasteland

Maybe I’m alone here, but I’ve been feeling an overwhelming sense of cosmic dread. It’s kind of a mix between apocalyptic doom and what I imagine it would feel like to be consumed by flames while tied to a cactus. Perhaps it’s the fact that a racist narcissistic turnip is running for President and...

Tonight, the blankets stay on the floor

Jul 21, 2016
Tonight, the blankets stay on the floor

I slept in my mom’s bed until I was in junior high. Not every night. Just sometimes. I guess I needed the closeness. Some kids do. Even when I came home to visit from college, I crawled into her bed once or twice, and fell asleep, because she was there. But there was a...

I have an idea: Let’s stop telling women how to give birth

Jul 19, 2016
I have an idea: Let’s stop telling women how to give birth

I recently read an article cleverly titled “You should get an epidural” (I know, I know I should have stopped there) that told a story about some “natural birther” who was rude to the writer in a grocery store. Apparently she asked the writer – WHILST STANDING IN A CHECKOUT LINE – how she...

A letter to James Baldwin because I have some questions about the love thing

Jul 11, 2016
A letter to James Baldwin because I have some questions about the love thing

Dear James, You’re dead, but I’m going to talk to you, because I think you may have been wrong, and I don’t know who else to talk to. In 1962, you wrote a letter to your nephew because he was “born into a society which spelled out with brutal clarity” that he was a...

Small pink vaginal speaker for in utero musical education. Because the world hates women.

Jun 28, 2016
Small pink vaginal speaker for in utero musical education. Because the world hates women.

They make some seriously ridiculous “parenting” products, but I have recently come across the winner of every WTF IS HAPPENING award ever made. Behold, the speaker you stick up your vagina so your baby has direct and uninterrupted access to music from your iPhone. Go ahead. I’ll wait. Let that one register. And no, no...

I am a mother, not a shadow of my former self, and I will not apologize

Jun 21, 2016
I am a mother, not a shadow of my former self, and I will not apologize

We have got to talk. We have got to talk about the way motherhood is so often depicted as this sanctimonious martyrdom of hell in which formerly interesting and intellectual humans are reduced to snot and cereal. This is the situation, partly. There are phases, particularly when children are in their infancy, when life seems to...

Do you ever wonder what your kids will remember?

Jun 16, 2016
Do you ever wonder what your kids will remember?

I am often the mom who forgets whatever it is I was supposed to do. The activity. The paperwork. The change in regular scheduling. The thing the kid was supposed to bring to school: a stuffed animal, for example. This is not because I’m a “hot mess mom.” I don’t even know exactly what...

Sometimes, I am the asshole

Jun 9, 2016
Sometimes, I am the asshole

One of my goals in life is to not let my decision to have children ruin anybody’s life. I talk a lot about asshole, entitled parents producing tiny asshole children, and I work really, really hard not to do that. It’s kind of my claim to fame. It’s not. I’m not famous, or even...

Stay connected to Sacramento Connect

Follow Sacramento Connect on Twitter  Find Sacramento Connect on Facebook

Categories



Newest Partners