Janelle Hanchett

I am a woman. Thirty-one years old with three children: Ava, 9, Rocket, 5, and Georgia, 6 months. I am married to Mac, my best friend and partner in crime for the last 10 years. We are an erratic offbeat family with big ideas and inevitably poor execution. We like to go to the beach on a whim, even though it's 2 hours away. We take our kids to bluegrass festivals and dance dance dance. We like rock and roll. Sometimes our boy wears pink. Sometimes I yell and scream and act like a really bad mom. Sometimes I'm freaking great. We're just a family.

Web Site: http://www.renegademothering.com


The good news is I made it to back-to-school night

Sep 19, 2016
The good news is I made it to back-to-school night

The good news is, I made it to back-to-school night. I am happy to report that after 14 years, 10 months as a mother, I have figured out how to read school calendars and not miss important events like “paper parades” – HEY BTDUBS WHY CAN’T WE USE THE INTERNET FOR ALL THAT PAPERWORK...

What if I asked you to rethink the “low” kids?

Sep 12, 2016
What if I asked you to rethink the “low” kids?

Growing up, I understood that there were two groups of students: The smart ones and the dumb ones. The ones who couldn’t sit still, who fidgeted, who “got in trouble a lot,” who got “bad” grades, who the teachers didn’t like – they were the dumb ones. Maybe it was their fault. Maybe not. Who...

21 things standing between me and “reasonable bedtimes”

Aug 31, 2016
21 things standing between me and “reasonable bedtimes”

Last week a super handy chart took its 10,000 laps around the internet and I once again realized either: a.) The whole fucking parenting world is batshit; or b.) I am worse at this than formerly thought. You see, the chart in question outlines the times a kid should go to bed based on age...

You are not your fucking minivan

Aug 16, 2016
You are not your fucking minivan

We needed a new car. We drove a 2007 Expedition until it had 193,000 miles, a giant dent in the back, 159 smaller dents, ripped interior seats, broken visors, and an overwhelming scent of something. At this point, your guess is as good as mine. Our decision to buy the Expedition was mostly about...

Potty training is bullshit. And that frog toilet can go to hell.

Aug 10, 2016
Potty training is bullshit. And that frog toilet can go to hell.

I’ve been a mother for 14 years and have 4 children and the only thing I’ve learned is that “they” are pretty much always lying. Everything “they” promise will happen does not actually happen. Breastfed co-sleeping kids are not “clingy.” Sleep-trained kids do not burn puppies. Formula doesn’t crush souls; homeschooling doesn’t create teenagers...

How to stay positive in a dystopian wasteland

Jul 28, 2016
How to stay positive in a dystopian wasteland

Maybe I’m alone here, but I’ve been feeling an overwhelming sense of cosmic dread. It’s kind of a mix between apocalyptic doom and what I imagine it would feel like to be consumed by flames while tied to a cactus. Perhaps it’s the fact that a racist narcissistic turnip is running for President and...

Tonight, the blankets stay on the floor

Jul 21, 2016
Tonight, the blankets stay on the floor

I slept in my mom’s bed until I was in junior high. Not every night. Just sometimes. I guess I needed the closeness. Some kids do. Even when I came home to visit from college, I crawled into her bed once or twice, and fell asleep, because she was there. But there was a...

I have an idea: Let’s stop telling women how to give birth

Jul 19, 2016
I have an idea: Let’s stop telling women how to give birth

I recently read an article cleverly titled “You should get an epidural” (I know, I know I should have stopped there) that told a story about some “natural birther” who was rude to the writer in a grocery store. Apparently she asked the writer – WHILST STANDING IN A CHECKOUT LINE – how she...

A letter to James Baldwin because I have some questions about the love thing

Jul 11, 2016
A letter to James Baldwin because I have some questions about the love thing

Dear James, You’re dead, but I’m going to talk to you, because I think you may have been wrong, and I don’t know who else to talk to. In 1962, you wrote a letter to your nephew because he was “born into a society which spelled out with brutal clarity” that he was a...

Small pink vaginal speaker for in utero musical education. Because the world hates women.

Jun 28, 2016
Small pink vaginal speaker for in utero musical education. Because the world hates women.

They make some seriously ridiculous “parenting” products, but I have recently come across the winner of every WTF IS HAPPENING award ever made. Behold, the speaker you stick up your vagina so your baby has direct and uninterrupted access to music from your iPhone. Go ahead. I’ll wait. Let that one register. And no, no...

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