Janelle Hanchett

I am a woman. Thirty-one years old with three children: Ava, 9, Rocket, 5, and Georgia, 6 months. I am married to Mac, my best friend and partner in crime for the last 10 years. We are an erratic offbeat family with big ideas and inevitably poor execution. We like to go to the beach on a whim, even though it's 2 hours away. We take our kids to bluegrass festivals and dance dance dance. We like rock and roll. Sometimes our boy wears pink. Sometimes I yell and scream and act like a really bad mom. Sometimes I'm freaking great. We're just a family.

Web Site: http://www.renegademothering.com


Breaking news: Don’t be a dick in restaurants

Jul 21, 2015
Breaking news: Don’t be a dick in restaurants

By now you’ve heard of the restaurant owner in Maine who yelled at some toddler who allegedly screamed for 40 minutes at a table. I don’t want to talk about that. It’s boring. We have no idea what happened. As messed up as it is to squeal at a stranger’s baby, it’s pretty messed up to let your...

To you, and the woman who would have been 95

Jul 16, 2015

I don’t have many regrets in my life. Not because I haven’t made mistakes. Lord knows that ain’t the case. When I got sober there were memories so dark I spent the first year of recovery shaking my head occasionally – literally, physically – in attempt to rid the thoughts from my brain. As...

People who can’t read sarcasm are the antichrist

Jul 8, 2015
People who can’t read sarcasm are the antichrist

Did you see what I did there? I used sarcasm to explain how annoying it is when people can’t read sarcasm. (Actually it was hyperbole but if I say “hyperbole” my joke won’t work and it’s humor above accuracy here, people.) The point remains: If you read that sentence and are now saying to yourself...

When did we start trusting “experts” over our own eyeballs?

Jun 30, 2015
When did we start trusting “experts” over our own eyeballs?

A few weeks ago, in an uncharacteristic move because I hate pain, I engaged in a conversation on Facebook about sleep training. It was in response to an article basically saying how sleep training does not harm baby brains, or whatever, which I believe. Great cool whatever. But the thread degenerated (AS THREADS DO)...

Tidy houses are not a thing so stop it

Jun 17, 2015
Tidy houses are not a thing so stop it

I have decided that anyone with kids who says their house is tidy and clean is lying. Their house is not clean. It’s a fucking disaster like mine. Don’t tell me I’m wrong. I’m not wrong. THEY ARE LYING. I don’t give a shit if they have photographic evidence on Instagram. You know they pushed...

Please may I just excuse myself from this interaction? JACK DANIELS.

Jun 8, 2015
Please may I just excuse myself from this interaction? JACK DANIELS.

Sometimes I’m at the park or a kid’s birthday party and I end up in a chat with another mom, and that’s cool, I like to chat. Sometimes though, within moments, it becomes clear that we aren’t here to “chat” but rather engage in a pissing match to determine WHO EXACTLY IS THE BETTER...

Hey! I’m back. By the skin of my teeth.

May 26, 2015
Hey! I’m back. By the skin of my teeth.

I have never been quite as lost as I was the past few months. I think it started with Mac’s hand injury on December 29. Maybe it doesn’t sound huge, but it was. Something about a 6 foot piece of sheet metal dropping 40 feet onto your best friend and husband, father of your...

The view from a cot on Half Dome, or, my mom

May 9, 2015
The view from a cot on Half Dome, or, my mom

My mom taught me that if you’re broke and possibly broken, the thing to do with your tax return check is to pack up your kids and drive north, up the coast of Oregon, Washington, all the way to British Columbia, fishing along the way. You go to those fancy gardens and ride a...

Hey teenage girls: You are not the worst

May 4, 2015
Hey teenage girls: You are not the worst

Recently I read (yet another) thread on Facebook that went like this: Main post: “Teenage boys are so hard.” Comments in thread: “You should be glad you don’t have GIRLS.” At least you don’t have GIRLS. OMG TEENAGE GIRLS. They are THE WORST. Insane, emotional, slutty little things. Mean. Irrational. I’m paraphrasing, but you...

I don’t know shit about Baltimore

Apr 29, 2015
I don’t know shit about Baltimore

I know a few things. I’ve studied them, or better yet, felt them. I’ve watched, heard about them. Better still, lived them. I know a few things. But I don’t know shit about Baltimore. I know CNN and Fox are liars, and they don’t know shit about Baltimore either. I watch people talk. Here’s a thread...

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