Janelle Hanchett

I am a woman. Thirty-one years old with three children: Ava, 9, Rocket, 5, and Georgia, 6 months. I am married to Mac, my best friend and partner in crime for the last 10 years. We are an erratic offbeat family with big ideas and inevitably poor execution. We like to go to the beach on a whim, even though it's 2 hours away. We take our kids to bluegrass festivals and dance dance dance. We like rock and roll. Sometimes our boy wears pink. Sometimes I yell and scream and act like a really bad mom. Sometimes I'm freaking great. We're just a family.

Web Site: http://www.renegademothering.com


To the humans wondering why I’m always late

Sep 17, 2014
To the humans wondering why I’m always late

The other day a friend of mine and I were having a bit of friendly-text-banter about tardiness. She was like “Just start earlier” and I was like “talk to me when you have 4 kids” and she was like “I wouldn’t have 4 kids!” And I told her she is a fucking smart woman,...

I went to the mountains and remembered why we have kids.

Sep 2, 2014
I went to the mountains and remembered why we have kids.

Sometimes I get so full of self-pity I think maybe I could cut it with a knife, were it to materialize outside my body. Like a giant gray mass with indiscernible edges, and me, sitting in the center, looking at Instagram feeds of expat women living in foreign countries, or in big Craftsman homes...

I thought age 4 would be better. I was wrong.

Aug 23, 2014
I thought age 4 would be better. I was wrong.

Georgia, age 4 (as of August 5), pretty much sees me in two ways: I need to be so close to you I’m literally sitting on your face; and I’m trying to figure out what exactly your purpose is here. We all know “terrible twos” was an invention by some prick who never had...

Don’t mind me, I’m just lost (in the existential sense, thanks)

Aug 8, 2014
Don’t mind me, I’m just lost (in the existential sense, thanks)

If you’ve been reading this blog for awhile, you know I get lost sometimes. And then again. And again. But I don’t want to write about that. I’m tired of writing about that. I’ve written it all before. I don’t want to write about anything, really. And that’s not new. I’m sick of myself....

Imagine if all the people tried not to be dicks

Jul 19, 2014
Imagine if all the people tried not to be dicks

So the other day I was at Costco. For our overseas readers, Costco is grocery store on steroids. Everything in is it huge, bulk, wonderful. I love Costco. It’s very American. I shop there often because my family somehow manages to consume like 3 loaves of bread and 2 gallons of milk a week, even...

37 reasons I’m having trouble “embracing the moment”

Jul 10, 2014
37 reasons I’m having trouble “embracing the moment”

Sometimes I complain about motherhood. Shocking, I know. And every time I do, somebody somewhere somehow gives me the same sage advice: Enjoy it before it’s over. Live in the now. Soak it up. EMBRACE IT. And generally speaking, my urge is the same. I basically want to punch them in the face. Not because...

A letter to my newborn, while I’m still a damn near perfect mom

Jun 25, 2014
A letter to my newborn, while I’m still a damn near perfect mom

Dear Arlo, I was looking at you today and thinking about how right now, today, the day you turn 3 weeks old, I’m a damn near perfect mother to you. I think this is why I love, crave, the newborn stage. Maybe it’s just biology, evolution. But for me, personally, I think it’s more,...

Welcome to our world, Arlo

Jun 12, 2014
Welcome to our world, Arlo

If there is one cosmic message I seem to receive more than any other, it’s this one: “You are not in charge of this rodeo, Janelle.” (So sit back, asshole, and enjoy the ride.) I wanted to have a May baby. I really, really wanted a May baby. My husband was off work for...

39 weeks pregnant…and crazy happened

May 30, 2014
39 weeks pregnant…and crazy happened

The other day, I looked in the mirror as I was getting in the shower and I saw myself, 39 weeks pregnant, huge and round. I saw breasts nearly resting on an enormous belly. I saw the stripes racing down its curve. I saw the layer of fat beneath the belly, the hips. I saw...

The No-Bullshit, No-Drama Friendship Manifesto

May 15, 2014
The No-Bullshit, No-Drama Friendship Manifesto

I think mothers need a no-bullshit friendship manifesto. That way, we can go into new relationships knowing we’re in agreement on a few critical factors, thereby avoiding the awkward situation in which you realize one person is into drama and the other isn’t. I’m never into the drama. I think I’m too old. Or...

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